Laptop Pillows by IF
Price: $ 160| Read more: Laptop Pillows by IF website
Don't cook your sperm. Enjoy your laptop in safety and comfort.
When was the last time you used your laptop on your lap? When you did, did all that heat feel uncomfortable? How about harmful? Yes, you do know that using a laptop on your lap murders almost half of your sperm, don't you*?
If you are like us, you want to bring the laptop back to your lap in a way that is comfortable and totally safe. Up until now, every answer to that problem has been big and bulky.
But now...there's Portapad – the world's only inflatable laptop cushion.
Hi, I'm Eivind, a Norwegian bloke and laptop user. If you are like me, the discomfort of using your laptop on your lap keeps you from doing it. Instead, you generally put it on a table and pull up a chair. Or perhaps you use a sofa cushion, stacks of newspapers, books or a rolled up blanket. But these solutions don't feel right, do they? (and your blanket suffocates the cooling system on the laptop and makes it run hot too).
So maybe you just decide to endure the heat and awkward working position and ignore the documented health hazard*.
For me, that all changed when my now business partner Staale introduced me to the Portapad. I didn't know what to make of it at first – I had no idea such things existed – but after a few days of using it, I was a huge fan. For this simple inflatable laptop cushion let me use the laptop in the way I felt it was meant to be used - on my lap. And I LOVED it!
My freedom as a laptop user has increased with leaps and bounds and I am now using my laptop in new and much more comfortable ways. My favourite new working position? Reclining on my couch under a blanket, a cup of tea at my side. It almost doesn't feel like work anymore!
I'm a happy Portapad user. So happy in fact that I approached Staale with the idea to start selling them. That's what got us started. That's why we're in business: We love the product!
Now, we would like to give YOU the opportunity to experience the same freedom, comfort and safety that we are now enjoying.
Rave reviews in the Norwegian press
When the Portapad was first introduced in its original market Norway, it was greeted with rave reviews by the computer press. The biggest Norwegian newspaper rolled the dice to six, which is their highest accolade.
This is what they had to say:
I must admit I was somewhat skeptical when I first received my Portapad in the mail. Would this thing really prove useful? I had managed just fine with my own lap for ages already. It didn't help that I felt stupid inflating it in a crowded train.
Now, a few weeks later, I routinely inflate the Portapad in the morning as well as in the afternoon as I prepare for another commute on the train. And I will keep doing that in the foreseeable future.
This is a surprisingly smart, simple, not to mention cheap solution for working with my laptop on the train in comfort. Quite simply genius.
Portapad was the solution to my problems, the problems of the reviewer in the Norwegian newspaper. Is it the solution to yours?
Reasons to get a Portapad
- You want to use your laptop without feeling hot and bothered.
- If you're a guy, you want to protect your sperm from the heat radiation that emits from under your laptop*.
- You want to use your laptop while snuggled up in bed or on your sofa, blogging or writing to your friends in supreme comfort.
- You want to use your laptop on your commute to work.
- The surface keeps the laptop firmly in place, unlike the products of many of our competitors.
- You already own a laptop cushion but have discovered that it is too big and unwieldy to bring with you anywhere.
- It only weighs an incredible 145 grams!
Now over to my friend Staale who will tell you more about the Portapad and how he got to know the product.
Talk soon,
–Eivind
Hi, I'm Staale.
First let me thank you for your interest and taking time to read this far. I've been a close friend of the inventors of the Portapad for many years, and I've seen the product develop through many stages. From drawing board sketches, via feeble prototypes, to the strong product that we're presenting today. And I'm honoured today to present it to the UK market (now selling worldwide).
Last year I spent the inheritance money from my grandmother on a stock of Portapads for the UK market and the inventors gave us the license to sell them here. As I did this, I researched the market thoroughly for alternative solutions and competitors. After examining all the contraptions out there I found that none of them have all the benefits of Portapad. Some look slick, others are undoubtedly comfortable, but there is one feature that almost none of them manage to combine with the former. Namely portability.
Portapad, a truly portable laptop cushion
Deflated, the Portapad is about the size and weigth of a thin folded-up newspaper, which means that you can bring it with you wherever you go, in your bag, your suitcase, purse or glove compartment. And just as important, it's weighing in at a ridiculously light 145 grams, so it adds no significant extra weight to your laps. If you've worked with a laptop on your lap for more than an hour, you know that in addition to the heat generated by the machine, your thighs become numb from the pressure. The Portpad has a soft underbelly with ridges that maximize comfort.
It's as if your laptop is resting on air. Oh, yes - IT IS!
The best solution money can buy
We have done our research. We searched the web with a fine-toothed comb and found all our competitors. For our uses, none of them come close to the Portapad. Most of them aren't portable AT ALL. They're big lumbering metal cranes or big blocks that you can hardly pack into a transatlantic suitcase, much less your business suitcase. The Portapad is the size of a folded up newspaper. That is why we are confident when we say the Portapad is the most portable and comfortable laptop cushion on the market today.
By the way, you should not get a Portapad if
- You intend to use your laptop in public, but are too self-conscious to draw attention to yourself by inflating the Portapad.
- You don't use a laptop (D'OH).
- You intend to always use your laptop on a tabletop (although that will probably change if you get a Portapad, we wanted to point it out).
- You are a man who thinks the research suggesting risks of infertility is incorrect (and you're not too bothered with comfort anyway).
- You like the feeling of heat radiation spreading in your legs.
- You intend to use it for commuting and your commute is less than ten minutes long (we have found that we don't bother inflating it if we will use it for less than ten minutes).
- You want a laptop cushion with a surface that doesn't hold the laptop in place, for the extra entertainment factor.
- Comfort and portability aren't important to you.
* Research on the dangers of laptop use
Research carried out at the State University of New York has shown that an hour using a laptop increases the temperature in the testicles of a man by almost THREE degrees celsius.
The researchers concluded that this can decrease male fertility by as much as 40%.
Read more about the research (opens new window)
And as other studies have shown that sperm counts are dropping across the board, this is a cause for concern.
But the heat of the laptop isn't the whole story, the researchers found; merely sitting with your legs together increases the temperature by TWO degrees.
So here's a tip for you that you can take to heart right now: If you are going to use a laptop in your lap, don't squeeze your legs tightly together, as it hurts your sperm.
You can take that advice and leave, never to buy the Portapad, and we will be pleased by knowing that you have gained some benefit. But we want to tell you...
The Portapad eliminates these problems! It makes it possible to spread your legs and lifts the testicle cooker up and away. Sound good?
What makes the Portapad different from other solutions?
- Whether you are on the train, in bed, on the couch or reclining in your favourite chair, with the Portapad, you can comfortably use your laptop anywhere you want.
- The Portapad is an inflatable device that is so portable, you can take it with you wherever you go. It's the smallest desk you'll ever own.
- The Portapad is designed so that it "breathes" against your lap, which means you won't feel hot and clammy.
- At a ridiculous 145 grams, it is so lightweight that you won't even notice it's there!
Product specifications
- Made from durable, fully recyclable PVC material
- Weight: 145grams (5 ounces)
- Fits laptops up to 17 inches
- Endures temperatures up to 70C / 168F
- Must only be used as a laptop cushion
If you don't like it, we buy it back
We shouldn't even have to say it: If you don't like the Portapad, you don't have to pay for it. Simply return it to us, and we will refund your money, no questions asked. We value your custom and take tremendous care to do business with integrity and sensitivity to your needs.
Questions? Write us!
What people are saying about the Portapad
For the laps of the Gods! Finally, here's a solution to how to comfortably use your laptop when you're out, away from your desk or just lounging at home.
— Justin Hood, Journalist
A heavenly invention - smart, sexy and very practical. Perfect for watching films in bed.
— Robin Sheppard, BAFTA nominated TV Director
The portapad brings the kind of comfort associated with a luxury ride in a Bentley to the day-to-day use of your laptop – think of it as an essential suspension for your working world.
— Josh Jims, Journalist
Buy now and get a lower price
We have 3000 Portapads in a warehouse north of London that we need to get out on the market as soon as possible. We are considering some minor visual adjustments to the product, but we cannot proceed before we clean house. While stocks last, we will therefore sell the Portapad for £14.99, with the intention of raising the prices when the new models are phased in.
Listen, getting a Portapad may not make all your dreams come true. But in a wide range of ways that we've come to enjoy, it helps improve the overall experience of using a laptop. A lot. In fact, when we work on this business, having our meetings in various locations, we often use Portapads. We walk our talk.
And remember, that thing about your ability to have children can be pretty darn important. So if we are to believe the researchers at the State University of New York, maybe the Portapad can contribute to making your dreams come true after all.
Get the Portapad now!
The Portapad has changed the way we work. We think it will change the way you work too. In fact, we think you will love your new-found laptop freedom. Otherwise, OBVIOUSLY, you get your money back. So we invite you to try. You have nothing to lose but your discomfort.
Sincerely yours,
Eivind Figenschau Skjellum and Staale Nataas
